Posted by voolavex in despicable, Domestic Violence, Genital Matters, guilt, Guilt relief, Halter tops, Harvey Weinstein, illegal, marriage, murder, serial monster, sex, sexist, sexy, sins, Social Issues, solutions, The 45th, vagina.
Tags: anal sex, copping a feel. being felt up. finger f*cking, inserted objects., Internet, oral copulation, political, politics, questions, rape, sex, sexual assault, women
I have been informed that I have made some errors in this post. There are 51 sets of sexual assault laws in this country. They can be found on findlaw.com. These are the 50 states and Federal law. I did not check all of them and I did not include territories or possessions, however each body of laws regarding sexual crimes have various types, sentencing recommendations and those that cross state lines become federal. What I sensed in those I read was that various degrees of these crimes exist but I also think – only my opinion – that they should be codified better throughout the various legal systems. And I hold to the idea that the accused and the abused should both have due process. I should add that sexual crimes are very complicated and very much disagreed upon globally. But indeed they are, in this country, set down by each state and the federal government and guidelines, statutes and many laws exist. I apologize for not researching this better and I hope that simply by searching a state’s sex crimes law on the Internet these resources will answer questions I cannot. I am not in law enforcement nor am I an attorney. This post has been edited to reflect my errors.
What happens when you unleash predators and dump them into a big cage with room for many, many more? Some are misdemeanor predators with only one egregious act to their name and others are serial predators who would still be doing it if they had not been exposed. It’s a valid question because every crime on our books has degrees of offenses. Sexual crimes do as well (see above) – I would guess because it has been ignored, not believed, excused or just plain denied by the offenders or the legal and LE systems these laws may slip through the cracks. It has a statute of limitations in some states so if you got assaulted 26 years ago – time has run out and the offender walks.
For many reasons – that of shame, trauma and fear of not being believed,what are considered criminals among us who don’t get charged and we have #metoos who do not get their day in court. All these particular offenses are are not equal and herein lies the rub (sorry). Is a pinch on the butt equal to a rape in an alley? Is workplace harassment comparable to a gang rape in a fraternity house or at a party. Is substance abuse a factor? Is domestic abuse with rape the same as rubbing up in subway car? Can a husband rape a spouse legally. Is flirting frought with danger. Is it an invitation or is it so complicated a message it can be a crime to even do it? You know the variations on this theme and you also know that the acts themselves are not all the same. They may make us feel violated and threatened and dirty; but they are not all the same.
Those accused – whom we so readily name and those who are not named but pointed at – areoften not charged and therefore not proven guilty. The millions of #metoos are still only making accusations. And while these offenses include the murdering of the souls and psyches of the women and male victims who have been abused and violated, there are still very broad interpretations of such crimes by judges and juries. Frequently the evidence in any court would be one word against the other. I suspect even lawyers on both sides have issues with this problem.
How could you apply a statute of limitations on better defined degrees or would all sexual high crimes and misdeanors be treated exactly the same. Anthony Weiner provided proof of his own aberrations – and he made himself the villain because he was the villain. He is in the fedslam. He has been disgraced and he is being punished through the legal system. Due process.
Because a culture of fear and shame denied the violated, the violated were denied due process. I think if I were so inclined, I would sue those who perpetuated this. And if I were in the legal arena, I would collect all the evidence available and bring causes of action in each case that could be a cause of action. I would not favor the race or age or gender of the accused or their value to a college or a career or a future. Let Justice be blind. We are a nation of accomplished finger pointers. We use reputations to defame and extol many people who deserve neither. But I am more concerned with the way in which these crimes or alleged crimes (because people do lie) are handled and have been handled. And I speak personally; that not all people violated have their lives ruined. Many do, but many don’t. There are those of us who can relegate memories to a place where #metoo no longer has a daily impact or incessant pain. We are the fortunate ones.
While members of the Congress and commerce are resigning in droves and without due process we are committing further injustice and a rush to judgment outside the courts of law. This is wrong too.
I do not claim to have answers that are effective in the moment. But the crimes of a sexual nature; the rapes, the rubs, the feel-ups, the date rapes, the marital rapes, the campus rapes the injury, the accused who do go on trial, the anger, the retaliation all have to be placed in a context that other crimes against society and people are placed. This body of crime has existed for all of humanity. Some sought power, some sought satisfaction, some went nuts in war and kept on abusing. But in any context – this is not new. And as such we need to make it fit into our legal system better and be adjudicated as we do many other offenses.
And please remember that women and men can be #metoos.
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Posted by voolavex in common sense, Harvey Weinstein, sex, Social Issues, solutions.
Tags: #metoo, ), common sense, Harvey Weinstein, Hollywood, Kirk Douglas’ Driveway., life, sex, women
(Please note – these men are all deceased and no names are mentioned)
Back in the halcyon days of Hollywood – when connections could open doors and a pretty girl went out to become a star, I did too. Not a starlet. A star. I was a lazy model, a wife, a mother and a dreamer who frequently thought – “I could do that”. So in the guise of going to Hollywood to check on a house, we held a second on – up in the Bird Streets, I took my daughter and myself and flew to Hollywood for a week. Due to NYC connections of my then spouse, I had entrez to every studio in town – no waiting, valet parking, generosity of time. courtesy and no casting couch. Stayed with a friend who was the most unhelpful director born. Couldn’t, wouldn’t, didn’t even say no. Just didn’t. No help at all. His best moment was driving by Kirk Douglas’ house and saying casually “Oh, Kirk’s finally getting his driveway fixed”. With that gem, I quickly found a hotel and rented a car. I did check on the house stilted high above the fault lines with an excellent view of the city as it was then. (It was on Warbler Way if you are wondering). Before that pivotal moment, however – the day before, I mentioned the name of a well-known studio exec who had a reputation for many things. Elegance, erudition and expecting favors for his time and a possible bit part. I was pleased about it until my friend shakes his head like a yenta and say “Oh, we were roommates when we first came to Los Angeles from NYC, you’re not seeing him I hope?” And I replied I did have his number as a person to call and then I was treated to the entire, blow by blow activities of this power broker and it was pretty graphic, but no big surprise. I assured him that was not gonna happen and he mentioned it more than once and I ignored him. It turned out I did call this bigwig of Hollywood who nonchalantly invited me to his house above Sunset Strip for drinks the next evening and I went!!!! Young, but not eggshell young. I made a simple speech in my head to deliver that involved candor, name-dropping and explaining what I knew and what I had no intention of doing. (And frankly by that time – I was disgusted with the entire town, the “Industry”, whether or not I could act (I couldn’t) and I was about to get outta Dodge the next day. And so I went.
Up Sunset Plaza in my little rented Pinto (yup – Pinto) And up some more and found the house, where I carefully backed into the driveway, put my keys under the seat and went to the door. (Right now you think I was insanely stupid, driven by my “friend’s” paternalistic warnings; more like stubborn and over the movie star thing entirely.) I rang the buzzer; the door opened and there he was in his silk jammies and robe!!!! I swear to God. DId I run. Nooooo. I walked past him, looked him in the eye and said very pleasantly, how do and I have heard all about your casting couch activities and I am not impressed or interested. Everyone I know in this town (drop, drop, drop) knows where I am and (names, dropped, dropped, dropped) and stopped. He said nothing except to ask me what I would like to drink and I asked for a soda. Long silence. But he got one for me and then patted the couch like they like to do (still) and I laughed and all of a sudden, as I sat in a chair, I knew he had gotten it and it had worked. We moved to the kitchen and he made ice cream sundaes and he was indeed erudite and well-educated and we laughed a lot. He told me “it was a shame I was so pretty because what I was, was funny, but no one laughed at a comic who was a pretty girl. I hesitated to mention Carole Landis, Judy Holliday or Myrna Loy. Thanked for the ice cream and drove away to my little hotel room laughing like a maniac. It was in fact, the best part of my week of getting famous (and lucky).Long before fat (yes because he is,) slobbering Harvey got busted for the myriad list of offenses he is accused of and likely did.
I am still a #metoo from more naive days, But not that time. Probably why I recall it so clearly and why I was proud of myself. And why I still laugh and wish I had been able to give a course there and then it to the other #metoos. Maybe back then on Kirk’s fixed driveway. (more…)
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Posted by voolavex in sex, sexist, sins, Social Issues.
Tags: Friar’s Club, Harvey Weinstein, Media, quid pro quo, scandal, Sexual harassment, Show Business, slob, TV
Just Tell Me What You Want (1980), a provocative comedy about a ruthless business mogul and his TV-producer mistress (Ali MacGraw).
Sidney Lumet cast Alan King as the Harvey Weinstein type in this movie in 1980 with Ali McGraw. It was and should have been for Harv, a cautionary tale. Jay Allen Presson wrote the book (which I read) and as soon as Harv hit the headlines – this is what I remembered about King’s character saying, “Okay, what’s the quid pro quo?” Harv had one that he didn’t even have to mention.
I sat a Friar’s Club table at some event years ago, with Jesse White, Maytag washer man – an aging Borscht Belt comedian who sat next to another of the same ilk. Jesse (who coughed and cracked wise and told filthy jokes about tits, ass, dick, )had a “personal assistant “with him – maybe 23 or 24. T&A, Big Hair.I wondered then what the quid pro quo was for her – Friar’s Club events with old Borscht Belt comedians. I was called “Doll” by the lot and I was very amused – not funny amused – but amused at the leers, and eye rolls coming from these nasty, old men. My date was not amused and we left. I was suppressing laughter the more I thought about them.
I realize that Harv has thrown the world of fantasy and the silver screen into a tizzy with the reveal of his sexual aggression to many women. But look at this man. Was he ever going to get the girl on his own? When you don’t have a prayer, power becomes your tool. And he’s a fool with a tool. And look at him. Think about how he acquired the beauties he used as arm candy. The self-loathing and neediness he carried inside. Look at this slob. He could well be in a grimy undershirt, his gut hanging over the top of grubby shorts wearing flip-flops with a can in his hand. Can you imagine this creature coming on to you, naked out the shower? I wonder what he saw when he looked in a mirror? I wonder if he called his prey “Doll” ? Honey? And I wonder how much power he DID have for NO ONE to say a word about it. And then someone did and powerful, rich Harv got The Long Drop.
I do not doubt a word of accusations flying in formation. I cannot wait for my New Yorker to hit my mailbox. And I do not expect to shocked or even disgusted by the story. It is not limited to Hollywood or Harv. it is happening in a high-rise office, near you, right now and possibly (but not for sure), even The White House.
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Posted by voolavex in Elections, freedom, guilt, Health, Medical, Politics, Politics & Religion, sex, sexist, Social Issues, vagina.
Donald Trump can kiss my ass. How dare anyone – man or woman – imagine a punishment for an abortion? What could be worse than the entire situation itself. Somehow the self-righteous right (and many others, sacred and profane) think women have abortions when there is nothing good on sale at Bloomingdales or K-Mart? Is that what they imagine. Well imagine this – you are pregnant and it is not a thrilling fact of your life. Rich,poor, any ethnicity and no one is faced with this truly except women. Casual sex, marital sex, oops sex, rape, you are knocked up. And you had no intention to become a parent – actually – a mother. Your choices should be unlimited in a normal society. But in the eyes of mostly men – you are so low and foul – even in Chanel – you not only are a slut to be shamed but you should be punished if you can manage to make a personal choice. Hoe dare he. How dare they? I will not face this decision again in my life but I have in another time of my life. I have chosen and if you do not think that choice was a difficult and emotionally wrought one – then you are ducky. Women may be relieved after this choice – but they carry it inside them forever. In their minds, their hearts and their body’s memory. I do.
So despite this being a medical decision for the doctor and an emotionally medical one for the woman what more is there to exact? A fine, probation, stay 30 feet from a penis for the rest of your life, have it stitched shut, have a tattoo on your face like Hester Prynne? Community service in a creche or nursery? Lose the children you have and love because you didn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t have another that you did not want to bear. Birth defects – how dare you – you MUST have a baby with no quality of life – including yours and that of your family? That would be an agony that covers a lot of ground.
Was he quick to retract his statement? WOW. You betcha’ because he knew he had crossed a line of voters who do not play that period. And I suspect he actually was sorry about the pressure he bore for it. I think he believes all his pompous, dangerous demagoguery. I’ll bet he had a laundry list of nasty punishments for bad women who chose choice. But Donald is not alone. He just bleats his ideas (?) more easily. I suspect this is the stance of most GOP men and some women. And I also bet they have paid for numerous terminations about which they have no guilt, whatsoever.
Men. Stay out of our vaginas unless you are invited in. Men. Stay out of our wombs unless your opinion is requested. Men. Worry about your frequently out of control dicks and refrain from making medical decisions for females. It is not your right. You have no standing to do so.
And this: Back once more – hectic few months. Hating this Election Season 2016
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Posted by voolavex in sex.
Tags: abortion, birth control, clinic violence, contraception, family planning, federal funding, murder, pro-choice, religious right, tax payers.
The link below and an email alert made me aware of yet another stealth attempt on our civil and individual rights under the current creature and his minions in the White House (and of course, the bunker). Quietly and in the usual sneaky manner(sound familiar) Human Health Services is attempting to write and pass a rule that equates (as in: makes the same as; as in: no difference than, as in no matter what your personal needs or choices are and the taxes you paid in) abortion and contraception. Now just as boldly as the neocons lied and went to Baghdad and Afghanistan and just as blatantly as they lied about Niger + yellow cake uranium – they are trying sneak to this one into law before the Dark Ages hopefully ends in January 2009. This is it in a nutshell – I suggest you read the entire article through this link I have posted:
Reproductive rights advocates issued a collective condemnation Tuesday of a draft proposal by the Bush administration to set new restrictions on domestic family planning programs. Under the draft proposal, federally funded hospitals and clinics that provide family planning services would be required to promise in writing that they will turn a blind eye to health care providers’ views on abortion and certain kinds of birth control, such as emergency contraception.
The proposed rule defines abortion as “any of the various procedures–including the prescription, dispensing and administration of any drug or the performance of any procedure or any other action–that results in the termination of the life of a human being in utero between conception and natural birth, whether before or after implantatation.It goes on (see link) http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm?aid=3672
Now have a look at the number of countries that allow choice to take place. Third World countries, backward countries, G-8 countries, civilized countries, countries out of control. I have to lump this country into last three because it is all those things or has been before 2000.
http://www.pregnantpause.org/lex/world02.htm
Is there any doubt in your minds that Mrs. Laura Bush used birth control or that her twin daughters do? I have no doubt. But it’s no one’s business. Have they had abortions – hopefully not – but that’s no one’s business either. We have idiotic contradictions in our laws that should embarrass us as a country and people, yet they exist and they are still being written. The attention to sex, pregnancy and birth however ends at the baby itself. Which is what I intended to write about. That’s Part 2. Nonetheless –
We have the ever brilliantly thought out blanket term statutory rape defined this way:
Statutory Rape Is Illegal Sexual Activity Between Two People When It Would Otherwise Be Legal If Not For Their Age: In accordance with the FBI definition, statutory rape is characterized as non-forcible sexual intercourse with a person who is younger than the statutory age of consent.
In other words going all the way with a senior when you’re a junior in high school is a crime and vice versa. This doesn’t allow for any circumstances that would mitigate such an act. And there are circumstances that do mitigate it. And we all know it.
No amount of self-righteous pontificating ever really keeps it from happening. The archaic term “unwed mother” used to be a designation for knocked up teens who were in loooove.
Shotgun marriage is legal – including the gun in many states – a forcible marriage to legalize the possible statutory rape and remove the stain of “unwed motherdom”. Is all this getting tiresome? It goes on and on and on. Completely neglecting the medical and hormonal facts of adolescence and puberty and the sexual images that are rammed down the throats of kids in general by the media and make “criminal sex” look really really fun. {This by the way has nothing to do with rape – the criminal act of attacking and forcing a person to submit to sexual intercourse of any kind.}
So why are we all being forced by some tax payers to relinquish our right to choice anyway? Even Antonin Scalia finds this a problem (he, a Catholic with 9 children). Why are abortion clinics unsafe at any semester and why is my uterus their business?
Ask the fanatics of the Religious Right. The Guardian of Heathen souls in danger of Satan. For the record, I don’t think any of these far right religious fanatics and would-be oppressors really care if anyone burns in hell. Yet they seem to devote more time to hell than they do to the Savior (theirs, not mine) though and without rotten souls to feed the fires they could soon find themselves stuck with what? You couldn’t have the Rapture without Armageddon and if we all went upward – who then would be to blame for anything. The Masons, I guess. Damn, even the Catholics discontinued Limbo – realizing no doubt how stupid it sounded to anyone with a pulse. The point is that ours is most definitely not a secular government and it’s engine is the Religious Right. And we all know just how pious and deeply spiritual our politicians particularly when it comes to dipping the old wick.
Our sexual laws are confusing and in some cases Middle Eastern in their scope. Now they are attempting to lump birth control into law as illegal in terms of federal funds at the very least and when and where does it end?
My advice:
Don’t have an abortion. Absolutely do not have an abortion if you find the idea horrible. Don’t do it. No one is forcing it on any woman who wants to be pregnant under any circumstances. Choose to have your baby. Do it. Rich, poor, young, old – have your child. That is what the overwhelming majority of Pro-Choice advocates believe. There are no pro-abortion groups in this country. Why would anyone want to force a person to have an abortion if she didn’t want it. It’s her choice – which seems, somehow, more reasonable than bombing a clinic and murdering medical personnel to save the unborn. And in the spirit of accepting personal responsibility for one’s actions – why not allow those women who do regret their choice at some point, to seek consolation in prayer or in a psychiatric office and get on with it. But as wrong and awful as trying to force an abortion on someone – why make that same person act out their woe and anger on an innocent baby because they didn’t want to have a child?
I do not even try to fathom the mentality of these self-righteous selectively violent people who love these babies so much, but I do know that if this rule about abortion and contraception are smuggled onto some other bill or law being written – I will have list of all the countries that do allow choice and I may just move to one of those. FYI – Canada does and it is a lovely place to visit.
Part Two of this post will be later this week. I’m really angry about this one.
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Voolavex 