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#Metoo. Now What? December 7, 2017

Posted by voolavex in despicable, Domestic Violence, Genital Matters, guilt, Guilt relief, Halter tops, Harvey Weinstein, illegal, marriage, murder, serial monster, sex, sexist, sexy, sins, Social Issues, solutions, The 45th, vagina.
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What happens when you unleash predators and dump them into a big cage with room for  many, many more?  Some are misdemeanor predators with only one egregious  act to their name and others are serial predators who would still be doing it if they had not been exposed.  It’s a valid question because every crime on our books has degrees of offenses.  Sexual assault doesn’t – I would guess because it has been ignored, not believed, excused or just plain denied by the offenders or the legal and LE systems.  It has a statute of limitations in some states so if you got assaulted 26 years ago – time has run out and the offender walks.

To this end we have what are considered criminals among us who don’t get charged and we have #metoos who do not get their day in court.  All  these particular offenses  are considered equal and herein lies the rub  (sorry).  Is a pinch on the butt equal to a rape in an alley?  Is workplace harassment comparable to a gang rape in a fraternity house or at a party.  Is substance abuse a factor?  Is domestic abuse with rape the same as rubbing up in subway car?  Can a husband rape a spouse legally.  Is flirting frought with danger.  Is it an invitation or is it so complicated a message it can be a crime to even do it? You know the variations on this theme and you also know that the acts themselves are not all the same.  They may make us feel violated and threatened and dirty; but they are not all the same.

Those accused – whom we so readily name and those who are not named but pointed at  – are not proven guilty.  The millions of #metoos are still only  making accusations.  And while these offenses include the murdering of the souls and psyches of the women and male victims who have been abused and violated,  there still is not any designation of the degree;  the evidence in any court would be one word against the other and how would you classify the charges?

How would you apply a statute of limitations on these degrees or would all sexual high crimes and misdeanors be treated exactly the same.  Anthony Weiner provided proof of his own aberrations – and he made himself the villain because he was the villain.  He is in the fedslam.  He has been disgraced and he is being punished through the legal system.  Due process.

Because a culture of fear and shame denied the violated, the violated were denied due process.  I think if I were so  inclined, I would sue those who perpetuated this.  And if I were in the legal arena, I would collect all the evidence available and bring causes of action in each case that could be a cause of action.  I would not favor the race or age or gender of the accused or their value to a college or a career or a future.  Let Justice be blind. We are a nation of accomplished finger pointers.  We use reputations to defame and extol many people who deserve neither.  But I am more concerned with the way in which these crimes or alleged crimes (because people do lie) are handled and have been handled. And I speak personally; that not all people violated have their lives ruined.  Many do, but many don’t. There are those of us who can relegate memories to a place where #metoo no longer has a daily impact or incessant pain.  We are the fortunate ones.

While members of the Congress and commerce are resigning in droves and without due process we are committing further injustice  and a rush to judgment outside the courts of law.  This is wrong too.

I do not claim to have answers that are effective in the moment.  But the crimes of a sexual nature; the rapes, the rubs, the feel-ups, the date rapes, the marital rapes, the campus rapes the injury, the accused who do go on trial, the anger, the retaliation all have to be placed in a context that other crimes against society and people are placed.  This body of crime has existed for all of humanity.  Some sought power, some sought satisfaction, some went nuts in war and kept on abusing.  But in any context – this  is not new.  And as such we need to make it fit into our legal system and be adjudicated as we do many other offenses.

And please remember that women and men can be #metoos.

 

 

 

 

 

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Let’s Pee in Public Toilets Like Adults May 13, 2016

Posted by voolavex in Genital Matters, LBGT, Politics, Social Issues.
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Let’s go to the public toilet.  Right now and while you are doing your business – think about public toilets you have  used in your lifetime.  My mother used to line the seat with toilet paper.  Then seat covers.  We used the stall and locked the door, we flushed, washed outr hands and kept on going.  In school we used the stall, tried not to hit the seat while squatting on tiptoes.  Nice people flushed. Some people got caught smoking (that was then) and people said Pee-ewww (or worse) if it smelled.  Some schools had cases (seriously) and some called it the basement, the bathroom, the girl’s room but we all went and we all used it.  I don’t know much about urinals.  Actually I think it’s kind of odd to pee standing next to another person – but I have been in places where there were no doors and that took getting used to. But by and large the idea is to get in and out – relieved – as quickly as possible.  I have peed standing up in Paris pissoirs.  At the British Museum I peed and used toilet paper marked “Property of British Museum”.  It was so stiff and waxy one could imagine writing the Magna Carta on it.  Somewhere I kept a clean sheet as a souvenir.  I stole it.

 

My family owned a restaurant in a resort town and it had only one rest room and was called the rest room.  No one complained.  I have used the men’s room when I hadda hadda go because the women’s line was too long.  I hadda go – gender considerations were not an issue.  And now we are  in the throes of a controversy about transgender and restrooms.  What is the matter with us?  It is my assumption that transgender individuals have the same needs  as others.  They are humans and peeing and pooping are something we all do.  Some trans folks have full trans surgeries and thus it is no ones business which bathroom they use publicly nor should it be an issue. (is it?  maybe it is).  Others who are in the process  – dressing to gender identity, don’t wear signs saying – “hey I am trans and still need to pee – am I ALLOWED to do it here.  Why would they?  And every public restroom does have a stall or two.  Some people of all genders don’t like to be watched while in the toilet.  Husbands and wives included (fact). So my question is:  what’s the big deal?  If you have a penis and wear a dress, why not go to the ladies room and close the stall door.  If you have a vagina and dress as a male, why not go to the men’s room and use a stall.  I reckon peeing at a urinal without a penis is messy and silly anyway. But anyone can use a stall.  If you are a trans person and announce your genital business in the peeing or pooping process, then I would say you are probably inviting issues to arise.  But I can see no reason for the brouhaha.  I have never been asked about my gender in a rest room.  And asking a person that question strikes me as rude, nasty, looking for a fight or just plain stupid. And reveals a bigotry that is even uglier.

 

I applaud and support anyone who has gender confusion and moves to resolve this personal matter.  If those folks speak of it – then I am listening and I am happy they have the confidence and self-esteem to do so.  But it  is NONE of my business.  And it certainly is no one’s business what anyone uses to void when in a public toilet with a closed door.

 

Why are we suddenly the Piss Police?  What is the severe preoccupation with genital matters in this country.  Other countries are not where I live.  A public toilet is a public toilet.  And segregating humans who have to go by personal choices or gender issues (or color – remember Jim Crow – who hadda go too?).  And I suppose I would add – if women all sat at a troughs and peed – like men do at urinals (Ick) – it wouldn’t have lasted long anyway. Attire dictated certain customs.  Little girls practice peeing standing up, I know (I did) but it is messy and a few tries quickly ends the experimenting.

 

Using the rest room should not be political.  My suggestion is if you are in a place where this controversy is ongoing or you may go to toilet jail,  do it on the floor outside the restroom.  If the new arbiters of human functions don’t like it – then they should realize they need to cleanup their act or keep their legs crossed.

But here is a reminder to everyone who uses the toilet – at home or in public don’t forget to flush and  please wash your hands.